He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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