He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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