And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
whose ass print is on the piano?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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