hotel room ftw
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
