I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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