Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
