I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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