Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
