So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize