We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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