Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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