he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
