hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
