I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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