There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize