It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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