Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
