Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
