How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
