Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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