I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
