He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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