Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm really busy with my period
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