i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I believe in your delicious
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
