We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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