Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
