The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
