I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize