You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
