i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
