he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
