have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
