Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
