I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
