i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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