I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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