Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
