Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
well you can't waste a boner
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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