The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
