if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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