elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
