and she was petting her beer can
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize