it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
