i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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