I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
