please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
