I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize