i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I could make wine with my vomit
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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