check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
