am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
