its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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