she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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