"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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