my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So vagazzling was a success
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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