Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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