Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
you had me at cake vodka
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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