Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
