Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You ruined the universe
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
