I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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