How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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