i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She needs sedatives and a leash
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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