so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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