I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize