If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
