i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
