the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize